When I started this new life after loss, fear walked beside me every step of the way. It still does.
But I’ve learned something powerful:
You don’t have to wait for fear to leave to move forward.
I’ve felt terrified every single time I tried something new
Since I started doing this work — sharing healing yoga, meditation, creating retreats, starting a membership — I’ve felt terrified every single time I tried something new.
I’m not brilliant at yoga.
I’m not a polished speaker.
And I still often feel like I’ll never “know enough” or “be enough” to stand in front of others and share what I’ve learned.
If I waited until I was “perfect” — until I had another 250 hours of yoga teacher training or yet another shiny certificate — I wouldn’t be writing this email to you today.
I wouldn’t have created the retreats.
I wouldn’t have started my Membership.
I wouldn’t have met you.
Fear convinced me that starting again was impossible. Grief showed me that staying stuck was even harder.
Fear still walks beside me. I just don’t let it lead anymore.
Before widowhood, I took so few risks.
It amazes me now, looking back, how many leaps I’ve made.
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Leaving my corporate career after Andy died, because I knew I deserved better — even when I thought nobody else would ever hire me.
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Starting over as a freelancer, even though the fear of failing as a solo parent loomed every day.
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Teaching yoga classes that barely covered my grocery bill — but fed something much bigger inside me.
And now?
More retreats, a shared membership with Karen Sutton (if I hadn’t sent her that initial scary email…), and working from my garden when the sun shows up.
None of this would have happened if I let fear win.
The only way I discovered who I am now was by trying things I didn’t think I could do.
I know fear feels huge right now — especially when life has already punched you in the gut.
We already know the worst can happen.
But does that mean we have to live small because of it?
Ask yourself:
What am I scared of?
What’s the absolute worst that could happen?
Is that happening right now?
Is there proof it ever will?
You’re already surviving the unimaginable.
You’ve already done the hardest thing.
You deserve to squeeze in as much life, laughter, adventure, and peace as you can while you’re here.
Journal it out.
Name the fears.
Tame them.
And when you’re ready?
Leap scared. I’ll be right here cheering you on.
If you want a safe place to start taking tiny, brave steps...
… whether that’s movement, meditation, community, or even travel — come join my free private group for the widowed.
You don’t have to do this alone.
x Orla
P.S. If you’d like more gentle support like this, you’re always welcome inside my Remember Membership.